Outgoing Florida Governor Pardons Jim Morrison.

Free at last, free at last. Great Lizard King Almighty, Free at last.

In the ultimate act of exercising lame duck power and trying to prove he’s cool cool, outgoing Florida Governor proposed and won a pardon on Jim Morrison’s behalf, regarding his indecent exposure and profanity violations stemming from a performance at Miami’s Key Auditorium, March 1, 1969.

The unanimous vote by the Florida Board of Executive Clemency came at the insistence of Governor Crist, a Doors fan, and despite the opposition coming from the front man’s widow, Patricia Kennealy Morrison. However, the widow Morrison’s opposition was not out of saving her late husband’s reputation as a arty outcast badboy, but because the original charges were, in her eyes, a publicity stunt, and that Morrison never did anything wrong. Therefore, this pardon is, in itself, a publicity stunt.

Mr. Morrison himself was unavailable to comment at press time.

I couldn’t agree more with Mrs. Morrison’s view that this is all for Floridian publicity at a time when they truly need it for something or other. But shouldn’t we all be thankful that now, finally, Jim Morrison’s soul is truly free? Where he was once bound to limbo, walking among the living and the dead as a ghost, he is now free to nirvana, to heaven, to reincarnation, thanks to the Florida Board of Executive Clemency releasing him from his ethereal chains?

Crist Saves!


2 responses to “Outgoing Florida Governor Pardons Jim Morrison.

  1. “Mr. Morrison himself was unavailable to comment at press time.”

    I may be 4 vodkas deep at an ungodly hour but: hahahahahaha!

  2. “Electric Comic Book reports that the outgoing Florida governor has pardoned Jim Morrison. In related news, you can now tell people that you spent some time today reading about an important legal clemency case. That should shut them up.”

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